How Goals Help Create Happiness

I’ve been around a bit.

I’ve desired and sought out riches of all kinds. I’ve went for things and got them.

I’ve looked to constantly to improve my environments, cash in my pockets, groups of friends, romantic partners, clothes on my back, activities to enjoy etc. But although achieving these goals and making these upgrades has from time to time made things subjectively “better” it is not the environment but myself that has made them great. It is my internal world that has made the happiness.

In other words, it is not what I have gotten, where I have gone, or who I was with that has generated the happiness but instead it was what I BROUGHT to the situation.

So it is therefore a never ending journey and challenge to improve the mental fabric of my internal self; of my mind and body. In doing so, and in doing so in a way that that makes me feel good, positive, energized, grounded, and happy I have more to bring to the achieved goal: the new social group, improved relationship, new city, faster car, money to spend, or nicer house.

With more of me brought to the situation the situation changes. It changes colors. It becomes better. And it is almost only when we have something to bring to the situation that we can receive from the situation. And it is in the harmonious giving and receiving that we feel happiest.

The strange and sometimes dark side to this truth is that forceful psychology and conscious manipulation of our thoughts must at times (for most of us living in modern society) be utilized in order to achieve the calmer, happier, more confident internal self. For example, I find it very difficult to be excited, motivated, and happy if I am not moving towards a better version of myself and a better future. This can sometimes be a sick game that consumes. Removing me from the present moment, distracting me, and pulling me away from life. Removed from the present and no longer content with reality, the challenge to embrace the situation, be present, and enjoy the moment can become a daunting task.

This however creates a new, better challenge that will probably persist for the rest of my life (and yours).

From this place we are presented with 3 opportunities/challenges:

• To achieve external goals with the understanding that they provide an OPPORTUNITY for more happiness.
• To achieve internal goals of inner-peace, joy, and gratitude that provide the ACTUAL HAPPINESS.
• To effectively bring this happiness to the opportunity that you created and therefore be happy in the moment. But also, you must know that things can still be improved and that upon improving them you will become happy because where there is improvement there is growth and growth is essential for happiness.

It is a challenging and delicate dance that life demands of most of us in order be happy and fulfilled in this modern world.

My recommendation therefore is not to resist, but to dance.